Palutena's Pooting Prowess
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Lady Palutena farts up a storm at the Smash Mansion, and she wants to show off her godly flatulence by getting everyone with her funky booty. And poor Pit has to try his best to stop her, but he won't, because Lady Palutena farting is something that you just can't stop. And when the Smashers see Lady Palutena fart, they can't help but feel parted. Why? Cause Lady Palutena farted.
1. Chapter 1

Another day came and went as night was present at the Super Smash Brothers Mansion, with it being at the Skyworld as Lady Palutena farted loudly, sitting on her green couch in her room as she sighed of relief, enjoying herself as she laughed.

"Man, I think I might officially be the gassiest Smasher in the entire mansion!" Palutena laughed as she was proud. "It took me a while, but I've topped Peach and Wario! Now I just have to see if I could do my next devious deed..."

"Next devious deed?" Pit remarked as he walked into the room, placing his hands on his hips as he glared at Palutena. "Just what are you up to, Lady Palutena?"

Suspiciously, the Bulk and Skull theme began playing in the background as Palutena turned her head to Pit, smirking as she placed her right hand on her face.

"Oh, I was just... well, thinking of doing a little... something." Palutena remarked as she smiled, shrugging as she tilted her head to Pit. "Something for the entire mansion. A little... well..."

"What?" Pit remarked as he then could see the smirk on Palutena's face, shaking his head in dismay as he pinched his temple with his left hand. "No... you wouldn't..."

"Oh, I would." Palutena stated as she stood up, placing her hands on Pit's shoulders. "I want to be able to give everyone something while not delivering it to them through fighting. It's a little extra gift, and it's not even Christmas!"

"Well I don't want you to do it." Pit remarked as he glared at Palutena, pointing at her. "Because you told me that farts are gross and dangerous!"

"Yes, they are." Palutena remarked with a shrug as she smirked. "But it's all right when I do it!"

Feeling a rumble in her stomach, Palutena patted Pit on the head as she left her room, wondering who her first victim would be, with Pit gawking as he ran after her, only for Palutena to use her goddess powers to send Pit flying out of the mansion, causing him to fall off Skyworld as he screamed.

"Now... who to do it to..." Palutena thought as she placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head. 'It will take a good thought on who my first farting victim would be..."

Palutena released a thunderous, brassy fart, causing the green haired goddess to glare at her big butt as she felt disappointed.

"Hey! I didn't give you permission to speak!" Palutena snapped at her butt, who released more deep pitched farts in response as she sighed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes as a result.


	2. Chapter 2

Lady Palutena hummed as she headed down the Smash Mansion, looking for the first victim to break wind on as she paused, turning around to see Link, Marth, and Fire Emblem's Roy in the swordsman room, with the three of them all watching a daytime soap opera together.

"Ryan's totally gonna hook up with Bob," Link stated as he had his arms folded together.

Marth scoffed as he had several boxes of tissues surrounding him. "Uhh, no! Bob has affections for Lucinda, he's not just gonna get hitched with Ryan!"

"What I wanna know is what happened at the barn. Three episodes, and they haven't shown it!" Roy exclaimed as he was munching down on the popcorn.

Palutena smirked as she slowly approached the three, anime esque swordsman, leaning over the couch with her arms folded as she glanced down at the three swordsman. "What are you three up to?"

"We're watching manly shows for responsible adults such as ourselves," Roy remarked as he raised his red and white bucket of popcorn, looking at Palutena. "You want some?"

"...Sure!" Palutena remarked as she grabbed a handful of popcorn, munching down on it as she gulped, licking her lips. "Man, that was delicious! Thanks, Roy!"

"No problem!" Roy remarked as he glanced at the television screen, to see the commercials playing. "Can you do me a favor and do some entertainment for us?"

"What for? We can keep ourselves entertained," Marth remarked, with Link nodding in agreement.

Palutena chuckled as she moved her right hand around. "You crave entertainment, huh? Well then..." Palutena then walked to the front of the couch, spinning around as she used her powers to swap clothes with Roy, with Roy wearing her dress. Palutena took a good look at Roy's clothes on her body, chuckling as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Man, I look stylish!" Palutena remarked as she turned around, bending over and shaking her butt in front of Roy, making the red headed swordsman blush. "I wonder if these pants would puff up..."

Palutena farted in Roy's face, with Roy screaming as the green haired goddess' brassy poot blew his hair back. Link and Marth gawked in disbelief as they turned to each other, then back at the gassy Palutena, who laughed as she stopped farting, looking at her pants to see that they puffed up.

"Awesome! They did puff up!' Palutena exclaimed joyfully as she belted one more tuba toot, snapping her fingers as she had her original clothing back on, with Roy having his clothes back on as she blew him a kiss, walking out of the room as she hummed to herself.

Link and Marth gave each other horrified looks as they turned to Roy, who groaned as he pinched his nose, stinking from Palutena's farting.

"Ewww! I'm gonna have to wash my clothes and myself for a week straight!' Roy cried as he felt dirty, shaking his head.

Link was going to comment as Palutena popped back into the room, farting in front of both Link and Marth as she laughed, pumping her right fist.

"Yes! I managed to get the other two!" Palutena stated as she dashed out of the room, farting all the way.


	3. Chapter 3

Lady Palutena was eating some vanilla ice cream as she was heading down the hallway, having gotten the three most infamous swordsmen of the Super Smash Brothers Mansion. She then felt a rumble in her stomach, her eyes widening as she released a raunchy fart.

"Uh, hey! Excuse me!" Palutena exclaimed as she glanced at her flatulent big butt, spanking it with her right hand as she kept glaring at it. "I wasn't read to let one out, you asshole! Can't you at least wait until we find a victim, buddy?"

Palutena's butt responded with a couple of high pitched squeaky farts as she sighed, placing her right hand on her hip, holding her ice cream in her left hand.

"I know that farting is fun to do, but I like to do it as a way to humiliate the others!" Palutena spoke to her butt as she glared at it. "And to spread my joy of farting with the ones who enjoy it. That's all I ask."

Her butt let out a trombone like fart in return, with Palutena murmuring as she shook her head. Unbeknownst to her is that Shulk was in the hallway, spotting the gassy, green haired goddess chatting with her fart factory.

"Dear goodness... is she talking to her butt...?" Shulk quietly told himself as he slowly backed away, shaking his head and heading the other direction.

"Huh?" Palutena remarked as she glanced up, to see Shulk running off into the distance. "Hey, wait! Shulk! Don't go!"

Palutena then slipped on some ice cream that fell from her cone, causing her to scream as she fell on her back, letting out a brassy fart that shook the entire hallway, causing several ceiling tiles to fall off as one of them landed on Shulk, the tile being strong enough to knock Shulk down, causing the Monado user to fall flat on his face. Palutena blinked as she got back up, her ice cream not having fallen from her cone somehow.

"Well... I kind of him with my flatulence... kind of..." Palutena remarked as she glanced at her butt, spanking it a couple of times. "You should know better than to let it rip before the victim arrives!"

Her butt belched out several more deep pitched poots, with Palutena sighing as she frantically waved the air with her right hand, trying not to smell her rotten gas as she walked over to the unconscious Shulk, bending over and letting out a wet toot that turned brassy as she made Shulk stink as a result.

Later on, after the flatulent Palutena left, R.O.B. came down the hallway as he paused for a moment, blinking as he sensed a disgusting stench. He then approached the fainted Shulk, sensing the smell coming from him.

"You need a bath. Or a shower." R.O.B. stated to the knocked out Shulk as he kept heading down the hallway, unaware that Palutena farted on him.


	4. Chapter 4

Lady Palutena hummed as she was in the results room of the Smash Mansion, taking a good look around as she watched the various replays on the giant television screens. Feeling a rumble in her stomach, Palutena unleashed a massive fart as she sighed of relief, fanning herself frequently with her left hand.

"Phew! Man, that one really stunk!" Palutena remarked as she took a glance on the television screen, smirking. "And I think I know who to share my funky butt fumes with..."

* * *

><p>In the girls' lounge room was Lucina, who was surfing on the Internet using her smartphone. She was nodding her head as she was humming to herself, hearing the Jaws theme playing in the background suddenly.<p>

"Huh? Who's there?" Lucina asked as she turned around, scanning the room as she blinked. She then shrugged, glancing back at her smartphone as the room began shaking violently, causing Lucina to drop her smartphone. "E-eep! My phone!"

As Lucina jumped off the couch and grabbed her smartphone, she stood back up, only to be knocked on the head by a staff. Falling to the ground, Lucina groaned as she looked up, to see Palutena wearing her clothes.

"W-what...?" Lucina coughed as Palutena bent down and released several deep pitched, raunchy farts on the female blue haired sword user, causing Lucina to scream as she pinched her nose with her right hand, disgusted. "Ewww! Pal, what was that crap!?"

"Oh, it was crap all right." Palutena laughed as she kept on farting, wiggling her flatulent butt above Lucina's head as she had her hands on her knees. "You know, I don't know why anyone makes fun of you for wearing this. This is tight and comfy!"

Lucina rolled back up, snatching her smartphone as she cursed at Palutena, storming off. Palutena smirked as she stood back up, glancing at her butt and patting it as it kept belching out thunderous flatulence.

"You did well, my wonderful fart factory." Palutena stated as she tapped her fingers, "Now that I got Lucina so early, I can get the others without having to worry!" She laughed as thunder boomed in the background, stopping as she released a fart that was a bit too deep pitched, her eyes widening. "...And I think I need to get new underwear. Whoops."


	5. Chapter 5

Lady Palutena was humming quietly to herself as she stopped, to see that Dark Pit was conversing with Lucas, Wolf O' Donnell, and Shadow The Hedgehog.

"Just what are these freaks up to...?" Palutena asked herself as she hid behind a vase, crouching down as the Bulk and Skull theme began playing in the background.

"And that's how we're gonna get that Barney The Dinosaur knockoff." Dark Pit stated, referring to Yoshi as he held the severed head of a Yoshi doll. "Death to the Flintstones!"

"Death to the Godzilla ripoff!" Lucas joined in as he raised his arms in the air.

Wolf and Shadow glanced at each other as they blinked, turning back to Dark Pit and Lucas.

"Shouldn't we be going at this seriously? And with intelligence?" Both of the dark anthropomorphic mammal rivals stated in unison as they moved their hands around in different manners.

Dark Pit scoffed, pounding his right fist on his chest. "Ha! That's not the way of the Hot Topic Krew! We push ourselves over the edge! We become the edge!"

"Oh no... this doesn't sound good..." Palutena stated as she felt her stomach grumble, clenching her fists. "I know what I must do now."

Palutena let out a victory screech as she teleported in the air, knocking Dark Pit and Lucas on the head with her staff. Wolf and Shadow decided to leave the two Smashers behind as they just took off, with Palutena proceeding to release her brassy goddess farts on Dark Pit and Lucas, rotting the two to their rotten cores with her rotten flatulence.

And the audience that was viewing this laughed because Palutena farted and was being heroic in the Smash Mansion. For once.


	6. Chapter 6

Lady Palutena hummed as she was looking for more victims to fart on, pausing as she noticed Mewtwo being beaten to a pulp by Arceus in the mansion's garden. She dashed to see Mewtwo whimpering in pain as Arceus just shook his head.

"Disappointing." Arceus remarked as he towered over Mewtwo. "I thought you would be more of a challenge, but for all your boasting of being the 'most powerful Pokemon', you certainly don't look like it."

"S-shut up, you giant llama!" Mewtwo growled as he tried to get up, but was too weak as he fell flat on his body. "If I just... had... my Mega activated as a Final Smash..."

Arceus was going to remark when Palutena slammed herself down on Mewtwo, sitting her flatulent butt on the wounded psychic Pokemon's head as she began releasing her smelly, brassy farts, with Mewtwo screaming in more pain.

"Sorry! I just had to let out some really stinky gas!" Palutena remarked with a giggle as she slightly blushed.

Arceus blinked as he shrugged, leaving the garden and leaving Mewtwo to be farted on by Palutena, who kept pooting out her goddess gas, stinking up Mewtwo to a degree that made him faint.

"Silly Mewtwo, this is why you're DLC!" Palutena laughed above her deep pitched farting as it sounded like a tuba being played, with the garden benefiting from the methane exiting out of Palutena.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hmmm..." Lady Palutena thought to herself as she was walking through the Smash Manor, releasing barely audible, trombone like farts as the plants behind her began quivering up, the green haired goddess thinking deeply as she had her arms folded together. "You know... I bet I could fart on seven people during the course of one chapter..."

"Palutena, stop breaking the fourth wall." Male Robin stated as he walked by, reading a book about the weather. "You break it as much as you break wind."

"Here's victim number one!" Palutena stated as she pinned Male Robin to the ground, holding down the poor magic user as she farted on his face, laughing as her farts got louder and raunchier, much to the white haired male's dismay.

* * *

><p>R.O.B. and Female Robin were both in Doctor Mario's lab together, helping Dr. Mario out with an experiment regarding dark magic. Suddenly, Female Robin gasped as she placed her right hand on her forehead, causing the other two veteran Smashers to notice.<p>

"Something's up, Robin?" Dr. Mario asked as he moved his hands around.

Female Robin slowly nodded her head. "Yes... I felt as if my twin brother had just gotten a horrible fate subjected onto him..."

"Any idea on who it was?" R.O.B. asked as he raised his metal arms, with Female Robin shaking her head in disappointment.

* * *

><p>Mr. Game-and-Watch went outside the mansion to get the mail. He took a glance at the newspaper, to see an image of Lady Palutena farting on the front, with the words 'Gassy Green Goddess disturbs the aquarium', it being the newspaper's cover story. The flat, 2D black man just sighed as he shook his head.<p>

"Damn it, Palutena..." Mr. GAW stated as he headed back into the mansion, hoping the rest of the news within the newspaper didn't stink as much.

* * *

><p>Palutena noticed Pikachu dashing around the hallway in a race with Sonic The Hedgehog, while Kirby was raiding the snack bar in the middle. Smirking, Palutena warped over to Kirby, sitting on top of him and releasing her brassy, tuba like farts, causing Kirby to be flattened like a pancake as she got up, giving the glass protecting the snacks a simple little tap as the entire glass broke. Palutena smiled, grabbing as many snacks as possible while farting away her brassy butt bombs, bending over as it caught Zero Suit Samus, who was walking down the hallway as she got blasted into the wall by Palutena's fart.<p>

"Damn it, Pal! Keep that tuba of yours off!" Zamus growled as she could barely get back up due to Palutena's long fart.

Samus Aran in her power suit walked by as she noticed Palutena farting her zero suit counterpart back into the wall, just shaking her head.

"...I don't even want to try and comprehend this scene." Samus stated as she shrugged and turned around, only to slip on a banana peel left by Diddy Kong.

Diddy laughed as he pointed at Samus, only to be knocked into the air by Bowser Junior, who was speeding through the hallway in his Junior Klown Kar as the red capped monkey then got mauled by an angry black Chain Chomp that shook him violently, then spat him right into Palutena's butt cheeks.

"Ooh!" Palutena stated as she glanced back at her big butt, seeing Diddy within her butt cheeks. "I knew I had to use the bathroom eventually, but I didn't know I would be baking brownies this early!" She then grunted as she let loose a fart so deep pitched, it would awake even the sleepiest creatures of the deep sea as Diddy went firing out like a bullet, breaking through a window as he fell into the moat surrounding the mansion. Taking a whiff, Palutena stuck her tongue out as she frantically waved her right hand. "_Peeyew!_ That sudden fart was a bit too gross AND dangerous for my taste. Maybe I should get Peach to teach me how to make my farts stink less badly..."

Shrugging, Palutena got all the food she gathered and continued strolling down the hallway, continuously farting as the windows broke apart. The reason the hallway had windows? Because the Smash Mansion was like Hogwarts castle, in that it could change the properties at any given moment. Now stop bringing logic in a story about a prankster loving goddess like Palutena farting.

* * *

><p>"Why are the girls here always so gassy?" Curiously asked a random Primid as various Smash Run and Subspace Emissary enemies were all hanging out with each other in the enemy room.<p>

"Because they're attractive and get a lot of odd fetishes dedicated to them." Replied a gruff Clubberskull as he was flexing his bloody muscular arms, much to the dismay of the much smaller, more screamish enemies.

* * *

><p>"Wah. This story stinks." Waluigi grumbled as he and Wario were both having donuts in the doughnut shop.<p>

"Why? Because of that green haired girl, Palutena, farting?' Wario remarked as he was picking his nose with his right hand.

Waluigi shook his head in response. "No, because we're in it and we're barely involved!"

Both of the Wario Bros. laughed heartily as they gave each other a high five, with Jigglypuff and Ganondorf exchanging puzzled looks as they kept on making fresh donuts.

* * *

><p>Several minutes later, Dark Pit yawned as he stretched his arms, having not gotten much sleep as he felt exhausted. "Goddamn it... I'm not ready to go fucking everyone up today..." He mumbled as he took a step out of his room, to see Palutena walking by, the green haired goddess glancing at him with a smirk.<p>

"Hey Pittoo. Came to get your daily dose of my... elegant rear?" Palutena stated calmly as she wiggled her fat ass at Dark Pit, farting all the way with her brassy, tuba like flatulence as she innocently giggled.

Feeling a tight bulge in his shorts, Dark Pit blushed as he gave the middle finger to Palutena, shutting the door closed as he clenched his fists, gritting his teeth. "D-damn it! The gassy green giant struck again! I got morning wood... and I hate getting that!" He then took another quick peek outside, only to be greeted by Palutena's flatulent butt in his face as she farted, laughing as Dark Pit kicked the Goddess of Light in the ass, slamming the door as he headed into the bathroom, taking a shower to get Palutena's butt stink off of him.

"Man. Pittoo should did feel flustered after I farted on him." Palutena commented with a giggle as she glanced at Pikachu dashing down the hallway again, getting up and bending over just in time to fart on the electric mouse Pokemon.

"Augh!" Pikachu coughed as he got gassed in the face by Palutena. "Damn it, Pal, watch where you're aiming that thing! It's a weapon of ass destruction!"

"More like a mass weapon of gas destruction!" Palutena boasted with a laugh as she placed her hands on her hips, farting once more as the entire foundation of the Smash Mansion shook, causing the paint on the walls to peel as she kept on her merry, gassy way.


End file.
